By Toby Clements, Simon Horsford, Alec Lom and Patrick Smith Published: 2:00PM GMT 19 Mar 2010
FRIDAY 19 MARCH
CRITIC"S CHOICE: Sport Relief 2010
BBC One, 7.00pm & 10.35pm; BBC Two, 10.00pm
Charity begins at home goes the proverb, and the BBC certainly hopes so. Beeb bosses will want the fifth Sport Relief extravaganza not only to raise millions for worthy causes but lift the mood around the Corporation, under siege lately thanks to its controversial strategy document. Tonight is the biannual fundraisers live centrepiece, so Auntie is duly wheeling out her big names and franchises. Match of the Days anchorman Gary Lineker, Top Gears Richard Hammond, Strictly Come Dancings Claudia Winkleman and Big Brothers Davina McCall all take turns at hosting the event and introducing various highlights of the recent celebrity challenges that have been attempted. Blue Peters Helen Skelton proved her courage and adventurous spirit by canoeing 2,000 miles down the Amazon, The One Shows Christine Bleakley plucked up the courage to try to become the first woman to water-ski across the Channel and a convoy of stars got saddle-sore on the Million Pound Bike Ride from John OGroats to Lands End. Theres a mini-episode of Ashes to Ashes, with slap-happy, wise-cracking DCI Gene Hunt (Philip Glenister) investigating the theft of the trophy at a golf tournament. The Outnumbered family pop up, preparing to take part in the Sport Relief Mile. The night also includes specials of MasterChef and A Question of Sport, featuring its host, former tennis champion Sue Barker. MH
Sacred Music
BBC Four, 7.30pm
Actor and former chorister Simon Russell Beale travels to Paris and the South of France in the second episode of his documentary series in which he explores the flowering of Western sacred music. Tonight Russell Beale investigates two of sacred musics more idiosycratic composers, the agnostic Gabriel Faur and the fashionable Francis Poulenc. AL
Dom Joly and the Black Island
Channel 4, 7.30pm
Comedian Dom Joly was obsessed with the Tintin comics as a boy and this endearingly indulgent documentary sees him retrace the steps of the intrepid Belgian reporters sole British adventure. Joly dresses as his hero, complete with dyed ginger hair, to visit creator Hergs Brussels studio, searches for (OK, steals) a terrier sidekick like Snowy and tries to catch a Captain Haddock-esque seaman. Finally, hes off by ferry, train and plane to the Outer Hebridean isle of Barra, where legend has it Black Island Castle can be found. MH
Marley and Me (2008)
Sky Movies Premiere/SMPHD, 8.00pm
Based on John Grogans best-selling memoir, this comedy drama stars three doe-eyed blondes Owen Wilson, Jennifer Aniston and an adorable labrador puppy (although 22 puppies were actually used during the filming). The film charts how Grogan, after moving to West Palm Beach, became a successful newspaper columnist, thanks to his musings on his boisterous puppy. CM
The Mentalist
Five, 9.00pm
The Californian cognitive crime series continues, with the murder of an architect thrown from the window of his remote mansion. When their investigation uncovers ghostly goings-on and hidden treasure, however, Patrick Jane (Simon Baker) and the team set up a cunning sting to draw out the killer. MH
Mastercrafts
BBC Two, 9.00pm
In the last of whats been a charming series, Monty Don reveals the secrets of stonemasonry. In the grounds of the Derbyshire stately home Hardwick Hall three keen amateurs have just six weeks to learn the craft, from quarrying their own stone to intricate carving a training process that would normally take five years. Meanwhile, Don explores the role of stonemasonry in British history: from the Middle Ages when it was a key mastercraft to its decline because of the destruction of stone buildings by Second World War bombs and role today in restoration projects. MH
Michael Winners Dining Stars
ITV1, 9.00pm; not STV
It might occasionally betray its daytime roots and has hardly been a ratings hit, but weve enjoyed this four-part foodie oddity. Tonight is the final, which means that Michael Winners two favourites mother Justine, who moved him to tears, and glamorous gourmet Jane get whisked off to a Cornish castle to cook for our hard-to-please host and the locals. The victory prize? Being asked to be Winners chef as he throws a lavish dinner party for an eclectic guest list of some of his famous friends, including The One Show presenter Christine Bleakley, Andrew Neil, the journalist, and former 007 Sir Roger Moore. All this is demented but also somehow compelling. MH
SATURDAY 20 FEBRUARY
CRITICS CHOICE:The Virtual Revolution
BBC Two, 8.15pm; Scotland, 7.15pm; Wales, 9.15pm
This is the final episode of the gratifyingly intelligent documentary series about the transformative effects of the internet, and presenter Dr Aleks Krotoski trains her spotlight on the mass of humanity now living with the net as a regular if not a dominant part of their daily lives. What effect is it having on our relationships? Will it eventually frazzle our brains and leave us capable of speaking only in 140-character Twitter haikus? "Im going to plunge into the fear and the hype," says Krotoski and so off she goes, starting in the worlds "most wired nation", South Korea, where 62 per cent of three- to five-year-olds regularly use the net, and internet addiction is a widespread, state-recognised problem. This is grist to the mill of Baroness Susan Greenfield, a neuroscientist at Oxford, who believes that the internet distorts childrens sense of reality and can leave its users in an "infantilised state"; but its not all naysaying, with Twitter founder Biz Stone extolling the empathetic qualities of the network while Stephen Fry argues that "we have the knowledge of the ages gathered for us to browse in our pockets, and if we seriously think thats a bad thing, then… we really deserve a slapping". PN
My Life
BBC Two, 11.30am
Following the lives of several extraordinary children from across Britain, this new six-part documentary series from CBBC kicks off today with a film about three 12-year-old boys Jordan, Daniel and Sam from Coventry who are determined to complete the brutal Tough Guy assault course in Wolverhampton, which includes obstacles with such sensitively chosen names as "Somme Surprise" and the "The Killing Fields". The result is touching the boys have each gone through difficult times, from disease to the death of a parent, and are thus keen to prove their mettle. But it is also excessively gung-ho, with a lot of misplaced narration about "separating the men from the boys". PN
Winter Olympics
BBC Two, from 12.00noon
Olympic programming starts at 12.00noon today with highlights of last nights events, including the skeleton, some comparatively sedate curling and the "Ice Dance" figure skating event, in which British skaters Sinead and John Kerr are aiming for a medal. Then, from 5.45pm, Clare Balding presents live coverage of the Womens Super G, in which British ski pin-up Chemmy Alcott is competing. PN
EastEnders 25th Anniversary Specials
Watch, from 1.40pm
EastEnders for those of you whove so far missed the BBCs flag waving, ribbon draping and bell ringing on the subject turns 25 this month, and Watch, keen not to miss out on the party, is broadcasting three back-to-back documentary specials this afternoon, focusing respectively on Albert Square weddings, feuds and Christmas fall-outs. PN
Lets Dance for Sport Relief
BBC One, 6.30pm
Steve Jones and Claudia Winkleman return to present this years four-week run of light-hearted, heavy-footed, fund-raising celebrity dance routines. Confirmed contestants so far include Katy Brand, Jenny Eclair, Willie Thorne and Rufus Hound. All will be hoping to match Robert Webbs success last year with his hilarious version of What a Feeling from Flashdance. PN
A Taste of True Blood
FX, 10.00pm
True Blood, a sexually charged US drama about the co-existence of humans and vampires in a small town in Louisiana, began on FX last summer before transferring to Channel 4 in the autumn and was a cult hit on both channels. Season two begins this Friday on FX and so, being no strangers to self-publicity, the digital channel is broadcasting this short documentary to drum up excitement. Featuring behind-the-scenes footage, cast and crew interviews and a complimentary look forward to season two which series creator Alan Ball promises will be "scarier, funnier [and] weirder" it swiftly fails the Jeremy Paxman impartiality test, but will serve as a useful primer for True Blood newcomers. PN
Law & Order
Five, 10.25pm
American crime dramas, like the Duracell bunny, have an uncanny ability to keep on running, notching up hundreds of episodes while their sitcom or reality TV counterparts are mercilessly canned. Top of the pile in terms of longevity is the New York-based crime procedural Law & Order, which began in 1990 and whose 16th season starts on Five tonight with a tense episode in which detectives Green (Jesse L Martin) and Fontana (Dennis Farina) attempt to rescue a five-year-old girl from a pair of desperate kidnappers. PN
SUNDAY 21 FEBRUARY
CRITICS CHOICE: The British Academy Film Awards
BBC One, 9.00pm
It must be boom time for flashbulb makers, Brasso and Moss Bros, because awards season is certainly in full swing. The latest sees Jonathan Ross host the star-studded "British Oscars", live from the Royal Opera House in Londons Covent Garden. Critically acclaimed Sixties romance An Education, with its rising star Carey Mulligan, is this years main home-grown hope, along with Kristin Scott Thomas and Anne-Marie Duff for their supporting roles in John Lennon biopic Nowhere Boy. As at the forthcoming Academy Awards, however, the battle for the big categories has an intriguing divorce-based twist as James Cameron, the mastermind behind record-breaking 3D blockbuster Avatar, comes up against his ex-wife Kathryn Bigelow, director of Iraq war thriller The Hurt Locker. Other talking points will include Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie (will they arrive? And, if they do, will they appear on the red carpet together?), whether host Ross will be demob happy as he works out his BBC contract, plus of course the A-list fashion parade. Additional frock-watching and backstage build-up can be found over on BBC Three, an hour and a half ahead of this main broadcast. MH
Winter Olympics
BBC Two, from 12.00noon
Day 10 of the Vancouver Winter Games starts with a look back at last night, when Great Britains womens curling team took on the USA. The evenings live action sees mens skiing take centre stage, with the ski cross final and giant slalom. The late-night show then focuses on figure skating, as Brit siblings Sinead and John Kerr perform a cowboy-themed dance to the strains of Johnny Cash. Theres also the Canada v USA ice hockey grudge clash and more curling, with our mens team taking on the Americans. MH
Pineapple Dance Studios
Sky 1/Sky1HD, 6.00pm
Pineapple Studios in Londons Covent Garden is renowned in the dance world as the place where performers are put through rigorous routines before taking to the stage. Madonna, Beyonc and Kylie have all attended classes as have the cast of Dirty Dancing and Chicago. This new fly-on-the-wall documentary is all about the hard work and dedication of the camp and cut-throat world of professional dancing. And the shows characters soon make themselves known: queen bee of the studio and its founder Debbie Moore, flamboyant artistic director Louie Spence, who acts as a series guide, and self-assured "ready-made popstar" Andrew Stone. SH
Dancing on Ice
ITV1, 6.45pm & 9.30pm
The celebrity skating contest glides gracefully past its halfway point. One major talking point might have gone recently when Heather Mills was voted off, but wraparound-grinned judge Jason Gardiner picked up the controversy baton nicely, thanks to his vindictive verdicts. Tonight, the eight remaining couples take to the rink, bidding to avoid the 9.30pm skate-off and elimination. MH
The Bible: a History
Channel 4, 6.55pm
Irish republican leader Gerry Adams fronts the latest film in this series in which prominent figures explore the Bibles significance. The Sinn Fein president looks at Jesuss pivotal role, pondering the contradictions between his teachings and the involvement of Christians in conflict the world over. He meets not just scholars, but victims from both sides of the Northern Irish sectarian divide. Adams might be a controversial figure to give a prime-time platform to, but hes well placed to offer insight into reconciling religion with the support of political violence. MH
Banded Brothers: the Mongoose Mob
BBC Two, 7.00pm; Wales, 5.00pm
Are mongooses the new meerkats, at least in TV nature films? Quite possibly, judging by this new series about a mini-mafia family of banded mongooses living in Ugandas Queen Elizabeth National Park. British scientists have been studying them for a decade and found some fascinating behaviour. In tonights opener, we witness their unique breeding cycle, which means all pregnant females give birth on the same day, then the fight to protect the pups from rival families, giant monitor lizards and deadly snakes. MH
Monsters Inside Me
Discovery, 9.00pm
Its not the beast you can see that concerns this documentary but the critters that are invisible to the naked eye. Microscopic parasites that remain in their host, silently feeding on the victim. The opening episode focuses on sleeper cell parasites, such as the one that invaded the organs and lymph glands of a Vietnam vet, secretly eating away at his body for 20 years. Best not watched during supper. SH
MONDAY 22 MARCH
CRITIC"S CHOICE: Trust in Politics
BBC Two, 7.00pm; Wales, 11.20pm
In the wake of the shocking parliamentary expenses scandal and the current widespread decline in public confidence regarding the integrity, honesty and even relevance of the traditional political process, heres what might be considered the perfect series to air in the run-up to a general election. Presented by the eminent historian, political biographer, broadcaster and Master of Wellington College, Professor Anthony Seldon, its a four-part investigation into what steps can be taken to restore the trust of disenchanted voters in their elected representatives and, indeed, the entire system of parliamentary democracy in Britain. Its a subject Seldon is very much expert in, having penned a couple of biographies of Tony Blair as well as volumes on the premierships of Margaret Thatcher and John Major. In his most recent book Trust, Seldon offered a powerful analysis of how with the economy in tatters and many of our highest social institutions under attack for greed, corruption and incompetence we have never had a greater need for trust in public life. But how to go about healing the rift? Happily, Seldon is never short on suggestions and here with the help of people at home in the corridors of power as well as members of the public eager to see things improve he offers a personal manifesto for change, suggesting ways in which the forthcoming election could mark a positive turning-point in our attitude to politics. GO
Auction Party
ITV1, 3.00pm
Auctioneer Tom Keane presents this new series in which people conduct auctions in their own front rooms. Its not a question of recession-forced flog-offs of family jewels but a Bargain Hunt-style challenge in which enthusiastic amateurs get £500 to go bag some antiques bargains, hoping to make a profit at home later by selling them on to gullib… er, enthusiastic friends, neighbours and passers-by. Today, an Uckfield resident hopes her 20th-century collectables will go down well with bidders. GO
Raymond Blanc: Kitchen Secrets
BBC Two, 8.30pm
Game and mushrooms are the subject of the chefs masterclass this week. Among the delights he conjures up are a delicate cep tortellini, a French pasty filled with pheasant, chestnuts and dried fruits, a salt-crust baked pigeon, and a simple but flavour-packed fricassee of wild mushrooms. GO
Forces Reunited
Sky Real Lives/SRLHD, 8.30pm
Human interest stories from those involved in the Armed Forces are reeled out in this moving new series, presented by Fiona Phillips, which runs throughout the week. The first is of a family awaiting the return of husband and father serving in Afghanistan, while the second unites an airman shot down over Belgium during the Second World War with the daughter of the family who hid his parachute from the Nazis. SH
A Band for Britain
BBC Two, 9.00pm
Its tears, tantrums and more toughest-tests-yet as Sue Perkins brings her terrific series about a struggling brass band to a resounding climax. Despite the triumph of a third-place at the Hardraw Scar competition last week, theres dissent among the ranks over whether winning or having fun is more important to the members of the Dinnington Colliery Band. Faced with a revolt, Perkins has some motivational tricks up her sleeve, including a half-time gig at a Twickenham rugby international and the heady prospect of performing alongside their all-time heroes, the Grimethorpe Colliery Band. GO
FlashForward
Five, 9.00pm & 10.00pm
Its all right, you didnt experience a three-month blackout. This silly sci-fi drama starring Jack Davenport did actually disappear from the television schedules for 14 weeks while its producers and US network ABC wrangled over its bad ratings in America. Now its returning for the remainder of its 23-part run, picking up where it left off with a double episode. If, like everyone else, youve already forgotten what happened (the whole world experienced a communal mental blackout and the only person they could find to do anything about it was wimpy Joseph Fiennes), theres a useful four-minute "starter kit" recap on Fives website (www.five.tv ). GO
Alfie (2004)
Channel 4, 11.00pm
An anodyne, updated remake of the Michael Caine Sixties classic with an impossibly pretty Jude Law as the heartless womaniser, whose chauvinistic habits seem even more unacceptable in the context of Nineties London. Notable for being the set on which Law met Sienna Miller, before his own womanising ways undermined that relationship. SD
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